June Reflection

My Life of Faith

Humans tend to worry a lot. We would worry about what to wear the next day. Will we have food on our table tomorrow? Will we wake up to a new day after tonight? The worry list goes on.

I too am a natural worrier, but for the nine years that I was inside the seminary I cannot deny the fact that I did not worry much. I didn’t have to think about where to eat or what jeepney to ride going to school; it was all provided for. Of course there were things that did bother me like passing all my subjects or if I was going to graduate. But looking at this on a higher level, I believe that with the faith I have in God, I don’t have to worry about the future either. I am now here in the novitiate and I continue to trust in God’s will for me.

I can compare faith to a person eating in a restaurant, enjoying his meal. This person eats something that was prepared by a person whom he doesn’t know or hasn’t even met before. For all he knows, he could die from something in the food. In our life, God is the cook and we are the costumers, we eat at the banquet that He prepares for us and we eat whatever is served and would always find it delicious. For me, faith is believing in someone or something that we don’t see. We don’t see God but we are convinced that He is there to guide and to bring us to the right path.

To have Faith is to be sure of the thing that we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see” (Hebr. 11:1). The Handbook of Religious Life bluntly puts it this way because we sometimes would believe immediately in things or persons. When we watch commercials, the usual tendency is to believe the effect of a particular product and we would be drawn to buy it. In our day to day living, we easily believe a person who sounds very convincing. In the book, it is mentioned that man is born to believe, belief gives us the courage to rest confidently on the infinite chest of a most fatherly love. We are indeed born to believe. When we sleep in the evening we believe that we are to wake up the following day. We believe that God will provide for us what we need.

I had a recent experience in my life that is connected to faith. Last September 27, 2010, seven of us (my batchmates) took the Licensure Exam for Teachers (LET) in Manila. The exam was exhausting and it really drained me because it was a whole day exam. Months later, the results came out and I was quite hesitant to look at the result because I was afraid not to find my name on the list. Indeed, I did not find my name; in short, I did not pass the exam. It was the first time in my life that I was not able to sleep and I felt cold the whole night thinking whether the news was true or not, was it just a dream. That morning Fr. Reggie called me and he confirmed to me that I did not pass the Let exams. I thought I was the only one who did not pass but I found out that we were three. I got discouraged and immediately told myself, maybe this is not the life that God wants for me. I kind of blamed God for not giving me the knowledge to pass the exam.

It took me a long time to accept the reality and with the help of my formators, I decided to try again. This time I put my faith in God. I realized that there are things that He allows to happen so that I will learn from it. I took the second exam last April and just last month I saw my name on the list of LET passers. I guess God wanted me to learn something from my experience. I once read in a book, “do we have to let calamities happen before we go back to God?” or “do we need bad things or misfortunes to happen before we turn to him?”

To have faith in God we must be able to surrender our very self to God and trust in Him. We must believe that God will never fail us and that He is very compassionate to us even though we keep on sinning against His name.

Sermonette (7th Day)

Topic: Simplicity

June 28, 2011

It is quite ironic for a person who owns a number of gadgets yet will talk to you about simplicity.

Do you notice anything when you look at the cross? (points to the cross inside the chapel of DBFC). It was in May 1, 2006 when Fr. John Cardinal, who was then our principal called me and told me that the other guy who was suppose to be with me in Canlubang backed out just that morning. And so he asked whether I still want to continue. Without the knowledge of my parents I said YES so he asked me to come here to get the requirements I needed to fill-up and to meet Bro. John who is now a priest, the batchmate of Fr. Arvin Abatayo. When I arrived here, I went straight here in the Chapel and I was sitting in one of the pews and I looked at the cross with the question in mind: “Is this what you want from me? Do you want me to go to Canlubang?” While looking at the cross I noticed something. In the abs or the stomach part of Jesus. I saw another face of Christ; I don’t know if the one who made that did it on purpose. While looking at the cross I then I realized that Jesus himself obeyed the will of his father. Why can’t I do the same? After all it is his will not mine for without him I am nothing.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus said, “And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God" From these words of Jesus, he is telling us that if we want to follow him we must detach ourselves from the worldly things that are around us. In other words Jesus is challenging us to be simple. Are you willing to detach yourself from earthly things to follow Christ.

Let us look at Don Bosco. He grew up from a poor family and has really nothing just enough for them to stay alive. Don Bosco believed in the divine providence that God gave him. Can you imagine a poor man from Turin was able to build a big Basilica in honor of Mary Help of Christians or start a congregation for the poor and the abandon and we are aspiring to be sons of him one day. Don Bosco was a simple man but he accomplished a lot of things in his life.

As human as we are, we have the tendency to make our life complicated by acquiring needless things that we can live without. We have worries in life like; what am I to eat tomorrow? Will I still wake up in the morning? Will Manang Lily cook HUMBA on Saturday? And all these things… We become so anxious that we lose focus on what is important and true in this life. In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus said: "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Jesus did not worry about what is to happen next because he knew that God would provide what is needed. How about you, do you also worry what will happen next?

Simplicity is a grace that makes us become like little children. It enables us to know who we really are in front of God, without any masks or pretensions. It is a gift that makes us become single-hearted and single-minded. It enables us to recognize and live the truth. The simpler we become, the more our entire life becomes unified with God’s love and truth.

Allow me to share to you a story. In a small barangay in the land far far away, there is a young boy who is the only child of the family. Since he is the only child, he is well loved and he is very fortunate to have anything he wants. One day this young boy made a decision that shocked his parents for they were not expecting such a decision. He wants to enter the seminary. His parents did not know what to do but they wanted him to be happy so they permitted him thinking that he will be bored inside the seminary and eventually leave one day. This young boy was ready and willing to give up his treasures in life to follow Christ. Just imagine that young man leaving the comforts of the outside world (he can have night life with his barkada, he can enjoy watching movies in cinemas, all the gadget he wants and etc). Sa bisya pa mo-ingon ang uban: kinsa nalay mopadayon sa imong apilido dong? Ka sayang… (sayang ba gyud kaha?) I don’t know if Alvin is also asked with the same question knowing that he to is the only child of the family. Back to my story, while inside the seminary and with the help of his formators and Spiritual Director, he was able to clarify his vocation and he gladly answered that call without any regret. That young boy in the story is now enjoying his life with the Salesians and he is the person standing in front of you. Yes, you are looking at him. Nine years ago, I made that decision to enter the seminary. As early as twelve years old I was already inside the seminary. I stayed here in this very campus for four years before this place became the College Seminary. I met great salesians and they inspired me to follow Don Bosco by their examples. The likes of: Fr. Randy, Fr. Nioret who was my rector for four years, Fr. John Cardinal, and Fr. Ronel. Then I went to Canlubang for my College Seminary (why Canlubang and not DBFC, it is another story to tell that is reserve for another occasion but if you want to know you can ask me later).

We may have all the treasures in life but to follow HIM we must be simple. Like what I said earlier, the simpler we become, the more our entire life becomes unified with God’s love and truth. What about you? The challenge is: Are you willing to give up your greatest treasures in life to follow him?

Lastly, I would like to share what Fr. Bong wrote on my paper: “God provides for those who let go” indeed he really provides.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus!

Have mercy on us

(May Reflection)

My Life of Prayer

People flock to churches or chapels when they are facing a lot of problems and they don’t anymore know what to do. At this point, they believe God is their last and only hope. The more popular churches they usually go to are the Church of St. Jude, the Church of the Black Nazarene in Quiapo, and the Our Mother of Perpetual Help Church in Baclaran. I have been to these places and have witnessed the huge crowd of people bringing their supplications to God. These places are like public markets because people come from different walks of life. There were even rich people or people in authority who knelt along with the masses. I had wondered what this people still wanted from God when they already have so much not like the poor people. Then I realized that you can have all the material things in life but not everything can be bought with money. I feel that many Filipinos look at the Church as they would a hospital. They would only visit Churches when they need a favor from God. They do not see the many graces God has already blessed them with, graces for which they should be thankful. I would sometimes ask myself whether the Church dispenses medicines that can be asked for in prayer to remove all the problems that we are facing.

I have learned that there are many types of prayer. We have the vocal prayer which often is a recitation of a fixed formula. In the Constitutions and Regulation of the Society of St. Francis de Sales, there is a section entitled: “In Dialogue with the Lord” where it gives instruction with regard to the different prayers that we have to recite vocally or as an assembly. As I read it, I was really amazed because I personally was in formation under the Salesians for nine years. In the end, the prayers were just recited mentally and not from the heart. I am guilty of this one especially when I feel tired of prayer because I keep on repeating and repeating the same words. The other type of prayer is the personal prayer, in this we are more connected with our God intimately. It was only later in my formation that I was really oriented with prayer. In the early part of my life in the seminary, every time I would enter the chapel and kneel to pray, I always feel that I am talking to the walls; I would feel that there is no one in the other end because I don’t really feel anything. In the Handbook of Religious Life, it says there that if, while in prayer, I ask too many questions, like “Is there someone in the other end?” then I am not praying. I personally would sit inside the chapel and would start to talk to him but the reply I get is the sound of the bird in the morning or the sound of the crickets in the evening.

In the Gospel of Luke, his disciples approach Jesus and ask him to teach them how to pray. Jesus did teach them. I can honestly say that this was what I was asking God before. I remember a Salesian who once told us in a recollection talk that before we even ask God to grant us our petitions, He already knows what we want. What we do in prayer is an act of humility, acknowledging that we need Him.

I truly believe that God answers our prayers but sometimes not in the way that we want it to be. Human as we are, our tendency is to be angry with God because He did not grant our petition the way we want it to be. It is only later that we realize what He did to us was better than what we wanted.

Now, when I pray to Him, I would thank Him for everything, both good and bad. I know that He allows these things to happen so that I will be able to grow and learn something good from it. I believe that when I pray to Him, He hears it and He shows me the answers through the things that are happening around me. I can truly say that prayer for me is my colloquy with Him. He is quite the listener and He is very patient in listening to me.

again, its been a long time...

i will to update my blog more often. its been a while since i placed something.

i will be posting my requirements here in the novitiate and some important things.